The power of vulnerability

• qualitative researcher – collects data with a soul. “I’m a researcher storyteller”
• academic viewpoint: “if you can’t measure it, it doesn’t exist”
• “When you ask people about love, they tell you about heartbreak; When you ask people about belonging, they’ll tell you their most excruciating experiences of being excluded; and when you ask people about connection, they’ll tell you their stories about disconnection”
• What separates people who have a strong sense of love and belonging from those who don’t is that the former have a feeling that they are worthy of being loved and of belonging.
  • courage (not bravery): capable of telling the story of themselves regardless of imperfection
  • compassion: kind to themselves first, and to others by connection. able to treat others compassionately from a place of understanding everyone is imperfect
  • connection: willing to let go of who they ought to be, to be who they were.
  • vulnerability
    • vulnerable people talk about vulnerability being neither comfortable nor excruciating, but necessary
    • willingness to say “i love you” first
    • willingness to do something where there are no guarantees
    • willingness to invest in a relationship that might not work out
• “And you know how there are people that, when they realize that vulnerability and tenderness are important, that they surrender and walk into it. A: that’s not me, and B: I don’t even hang out with people like that.”
• Advice
  • Let ourselves be seen, deeply and vulnerably
  • Love with our whole hearts, even though there are no guarantees
  • Practice gratitude and joy
  • Believe that we’re enough